Return to Sender by Ashlyn Kane & Morgan James

Author:Ashlyn Kane & Morgan James [Kane, Ashlyn & James, Morgan]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Amazon: B004U7FJE6
Publisher: Dreamspinner Press
Published: 2011-03-26T11:00:00+00:00

“EM? HAVE you had anything to eat today, hun?” Emerson looked up to

see his mother’s sister standing in the door to his bedroom. Her eyes were red-rimmed but dry and filled with compassion. Emerson, who was not feeling particularly talkative, simply shrugged in response to her question.

“Honey, you really should think about eating something.”

Emerson simply stared at his knees.

After his aunt had brought them home from the hospital, Emerson had suddenly been overcome by the scent of disinfectant and death on his clothes. He had jumped into the shower and begun to clean himself with single-minded intent. He wasn’t sure how long he had stayed in the shower, but he had been there for some time, scrubbing himself down, attempting to remove all trace of the smell.

Once clean enough to satisfy himself, he had returned to his bedroom to stare at his closet for a long moment, contemplating clothes. In the end, it was a no-brainer to pull out his favorite worn jeans and the Tshirt of Jonah’s he had kept so long ago. After pulling it on, he had stood there a moment, rubbing the soft green fabric beneath his hand. Then, he pulled on one of his zip-up sweaters and sat down on his bed.

He had curled himself into a tight ball and had been unable to move since. He had neither the energy nor the inclination to uncurl himself from his protective huddle.

His aunt sighed.

“Alright. I won’t push it right now, but you’re eating something tomorrow, just so you know.” Then she ran a tender hand over his head before she left him alone again.

A great, empty ache had filled his chest and hollowed him out. He didn’t know what to do now, to do next. He felt crippled by grief. He felt all at once that his whole body would cave in on the yawning ache inside him, and yet that all the pieces of him would float away and bring him to nothingness if he were not careful. He wished Jonah were here. Jonah, who could hold him and comfort him, who would fill the empty spaces and keep the pieces together.

Jonah.

Jonah, who was in San Francisco… where Emerson was supposed to be right now.

Oh. Oh, he had forgotten about his trip, hadn’t even sent Jonah a message. Jonah must be so worried by now that Emerson hadn’t shown up.

Slowly, his limbs filled with lethargy, though his mind was quick enough, he scooped up his laptop and opened it to contact Jonah. He wasn’t on Skype, so Emerson opened a new e-mail. He stared at it for a long time, watching the cursor blink on the blank white page. He didn’t know what to write, how to explain. There were certain things he just couldn’t bring himself to write, not yet.

Finally, his fingers shakily tapped out, “Still at home. I need you,” before they failed him. He could write no more, it seemed. He hit “send.”

His laptop stayed open on the bed, waiting to tell him should Jonah respond.

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